So I was feeling really bored one evening…it was a warm day and there was nothing on TV. Then I decided to hijack my Hubby’s Facebook when he left it on without logging off. Perfect opportunity for him to profess his undying love for me, hehe! So I typed “My wife is awesome” and the next day…

Names have been whited-out to protect identities

I’m honoured to read the compliments and was tempted to give a “Queen wave” thereafter but that would be too much, wouldn’t it?

To my friends/family who liked or commented the status update, no, he’s actually not that romantic (although he’s trying his very best) and yes, I’m sorry to have duped you. I only meant to trick my Hubby and see his reaction.

Forgive me, phhweeeseeeee?

By December 2011, we were done with E’s CNY clothes. I already knew where we could find something nice and affordable for him, so the task was completed pretty fast. For Hubby, he bought two shirts with some cash vouchers redeemed through his credit card points. Keeping to tradition is important to me, hence I told myself to get at least one piece of new clothing for the first day of CNY.

For some weird reasons, I wanted to wear a cheongsam this year. With no front and back assets, I was never a big fan of this traditional Chinese attire as it doesn’t usually flatter my no hour-glass figure. I was shopping around my office area after lunch one day and tried on a cheongsam at Cove nonchalantly. Surprise surprise, it fitted really well, accentuate wherever that’s necessary and doesn’t make me look 10 years older like most do. I look smokin’ hot in it (or so I say). Plus, the price is right! Here’s how it looks like:

Photo extracted from Cove FB page

Excited to show it off to Hubby, I tried it on as soon as I got home from work. While parading and catwalking up and down in my new purchase, E who was busy playing with his toy animals, stopped and stared at me. He looked up, then down, then up again. I’m not exaggerating here but how he reacted next melted my heart BIG TIME.

His expression transformed from curiosity to awe. Then he flashed a smile and said, “Nice!” If I may add, maybe he’s thinking “My mommy is HOT!”, don’t you think? ;p

Getting compliments from my Hubby is flattering but hearing it from an innocent, 21-month old toddler is simply AWESOME! That was probably one the best compliments I have ever received. Touched beyond words, I curtsied and replied, “Thank you, dear!”

Yes, indeed. It was a great buy. CNY, here I come. Woot!

JOEY’S 2011 RESOLUTIONS
[?] To continue nurturing Ewan in a positive, healthy and encouraging environment – I have spanked and shouted at him several times in 2011, so can I still put a check there? Besides, who on earth would put such vague resolution?
[?] To be a good role model to Ewan ie. instill more patience, understanding and calmness – Ummm…*no comment*
[X] To worry less and trust more – Hahaha, nothing near there! I’m still an annoyingly buggersome worrywart.
[?] To find a new hobby – think I’ve read extra two books this year. Does that count?
[½ √] To continue rekindle my relationship with Hubby and family – ½√ because that’s what I’d like to think but the true verdict relies on Hubby though.

You know what? I think whomever came up with resolutions idea is a moron trying to make you feel inadequate. Who needs resolutions when according to *sources*, it’s best to sloth live one day at a time? Ishk!

SO I’m not going to make any resolutions for 2012. I’m going to live it wholeheartedly since according to *sources* again, the threat of the Armageddon prophecy is coming true. Accurate or not, I think we all should live today as if tomorrow is our last day on earth. Frankly, if I were to die today, I would die regretfully for not optimising on whatever I am blessed with and use them to benefit others.

With that, I would like to conclude my 2011 with the introduction of a new blog that will drive my aspiration to living a soul-nourishing life: A Kind Deed A Day. Have you clicked on it? Click on it now. Pretty please? Oh come on? Can la? I need more hits!

From the bottom of my heart, I wish you and your family a BRIGHTER, HEALTHIER and HAPPIER 2012.

I’ll leave you with a photo of my new plant which is currently residing on my office desk. It’s one of my goals in 2012 to keep it alive

Meet "Faith", the Ficus Ginseng Jade bonsai

Happy New Year!

It has been 2.5 years since I last practised yoga. As soon as I found out about my pregnancy, I ditched my yoga teacher and ever since that, my life has been nothing but all about the little one. Back then, pre-natal yoga was hard to come by, so it was a really easy way out for me too. It’s not until recently that I got a strong calling from my body to work it out. So much so that I climbed up the stairs at my office building from Level 1 to Level 13 yesterday just to satisfy the urge…and it felt amazingly GOOD! My colleagues think I’ve gone mad from overdose of no-bosses-and-no-work-at-the-end-of-the-year euphoria though.

Plus I know that if it’s free, I won’t take it seriously. So I’m making myself pay and attend the lessons. Plus plus, Hubby and I have agreed to take turns and allow each other a me-time once a week to exercise – him swimming, me yoga. Then life’s back to focusing on the little one, again

Today’s the day! I can’t wait to breatheeeeeeee….stretchhhhhhh…and heallllll…. Let’s see how long I can last!

Image taken from tinytapir.com

You see, I have been extremely vain ever since I started my new job which gives me the opportunity to dress up and still look dainty all day long (instead of driving around town, spotting oily face and sweaty body). I get to wear nicely fitted dresses and skirts, even more so after I discovered an effective push-up undergarment for saggy bum. Conscious about VPLs (visible panty lines), seamless undies and G-strings are the only way to go for me. But what happens when your period comes and these just won’t cut it?

Bulging VPL is NEVER okay! - Image via http://madamenoire.com/32655/10-styles-to-get-rid-of-before-the-new-year/panty-line-3/

I decided there and then to try out the menstrual cup after staining my flair beige dress one afternoon and had my boss and colleagues shading my behind from the public’s view while walking to buy another dress at the nearest boutique. Mind you, I was wearing granny undies with maxi pad at that time. Not sure if other mums who underwent natural birth experience the same as well, but my post-baby menstrual flow is a lot heavier than those before I fell pregnant.

Image extracted from www.ladycup.eu

At RM145 each, menstrual cup is an expensive investment to start with but considering the chemicals used to bleach disposable sanitary pads, tampons and panty liners so that they look ‘clean’, plus the hassle of changing every few hours and not forgetting the landfill we are creating by disposing so much of these waste, I decided to give it a try. With proper care, a menstrual cup can be used up to five years, saving you money from buying packs after packs of disposable.

My first experience
I tried using it for two days. The description is going to get rather graphic here, so brace yourself According to instructions, you’re supposed to wet it with water before inserting it into your vah-jay-jay. Then fold it two times and say “open sesame” to your V – literally!:

During insertion
► I squatted and pushed it in but couldn’t find the entry.
► I stood up and tried again…this is even harder! Time to sign up for the anatomy class.
► I sat on the toilet bowl and ta-da, I got it. Took a deep breath, gently pushed it in and pop! The cup unfolded into its original shape inside.

While wearing
► It felt amazing to be pad-free during menses. I could walk, run and wear anything I want. It’s a new level of liberation!
► I felt ‘cleaner’ and less messy down south too.
► For extra assurance, I used my cloth pantyliner just in case the cup leaks. Guess I didn’t wear it correctly as it leaked a little but was nothing major.
► At one point, I could feel the cup stem dangling inside.

During removal
► I managed to take it out easily the first time, easy-peasy! It was probably because I was very relaxed during the insertion.
► The second time around was the traumatizing part. It took me almost 15 minutes to get it out from my vah-jay-jay. I sat, squatted, knelt, stood and did whatever pose I could think of. The cup went quite high up and I had to rummage my V just to get hold of the stem. Using two fingers (or maybe three), I digged, stirred and grabbed; the suction was too strong. I almost cried for hubby’s help and started imagining the embarrassment I would have to go through should I need to admit myself into the hospital. Oh nooooo….this is a BAD idea

► It didn’t help that my finger nails were long and sharp!
► Then it chanced upon me that the key to managing a menstrual cup is to RELAX. I took a deep breath, imagined myself meditating, did some Kegel exercise, held on to the stem like my dear life, pressed the cup to release the suction and hiakkkkk (and oucchhhh!!)….pulled it out. I felt so bruised and ‘violated’ after that. Boo-hooooo….
► Did I learn my lesson and ditch the cup? Certainly NOT. I tried again the following day and went through the same daunting experience. OK, maybe I’ll call it a day for this cycle and try again next month. Apparently, it takes at least three cycles for one to get used to it.

My conclusion is, I probably inserted it wrongly because according to the manual, it should stay in place and not leak at all. I did some research and found more techniques/tips on using it – relax, twist it around after insertion to lock it in place, cut the stem etc.

I really, really like the concept of menstrual cup and want to make it work for me. Wish me luck when Aunt Flow revisits again in January. Until then, it is Kotex then.

According to the speaker, we are trying to be good parents and give our children all they need to develop into well-rounded and successful adults. We may, however, be missing the very core of our child’s being, his/her spirituality. Spirituality is the base from which grows self-esteem, values, and a sense of belonging. It is what gives life direction and meaning.

What you are going to read next may sound absurd to you, so if radical ideas are not your cup of tea, you may want to stop reading here. Otherwise, read with an open mind.

Here’s a summary to share:

► Suffering comes from the attachment to an idea – holding strong to the age-old notion that this is how we should live, what we must be able to afford, how to parent our kids. It is merely what most people generally think, do, behave and expect out of us. The stronger our desire, the higher our suffering and vice versa. If you have no expectations, you’re FREE.
► Opposites don’t attract. Our spouse mirrors who we are, no matter how different you think he is from you. I have always thought that my parents are two individuals who probably shouldn’t have gotten married but the truth is (and if I really look closely), they are very similar. One expresses while the other suppresses.
► Your children are not your children. Babies come into this world for their very own reasons – some to fulfill a bodily desire and some for the world. Parents are merely a medium for them to transverse into this world. They come through us, not from us. We may house their bodies, but not their souls.
► The golden rule for raising a spiritual child is to love them and support them for whoever they want to be. Treat them as an individual, and permit them to be themselves. Do not attempt to mold them into the image of yourself or anyone else.

Which made me raise the question:

“Letting my son be completely himself and support him in whatever his heart desires, alright. But what if he chooses the wrong path like gambling or stealing? Do we let him be and accept him for who he is too?”

A: We don’t teach or tell them the right from the wrong. Besides, it is what WE think is right and wrong, but is it necessarily right or wrong? Instead, we teach them about choices – making conscious and owned-up decisions. Enlighten them about the consequences, honour their decisions and support them all the way.

► Show them how to be kind, caring and loving. Impart the beauty and values of compassion.
► The key to showing your love is by listening. No lecturing, no trying to be an advisor, no sharing of your tales (unless asked). Just listen.
► Do not try to protect your child against every small blow and disappointment as adversity strengthens character and makes us compassionate. Let him learn it.
► No spanking or yelling. Always make sure the punishment fits the crime. Even the youngest child has a keen sense of justice.

Lastly, a total eye-opener:

♥The goal of being a parent is to work yourself out of parenthood, to make your children so independently powerful that they don’t need you, but rather, want you♥

Right now, I just want to say: “Thank you for choosing me to be your mommy, Ewan.”

ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Dr. T. Aaron Lim is a former professor at Brigham Young University-Hawaii, USA. As a dynamic speaker and educator with a wonderful ability to inform and inspire audiences, he uses his multiple talents to help others perform at their peak and achieve their fullest potential. Dr. Aaron has shared his winning insights with thousands of people throughout the world. Along with his wife, Dehyana (www.anchoringthelight.org), he co-founded and co-directs Bodhi Fellowship / Center For Inner Peace, a non-profit, spiritual organization dedicated to teaching unconditional, universal love and selfless service based in Melaka, Malaysia.

Here comes the last BabyTalk issue under me:

The little girl is absolutely gorgeous, isn’t it? Seeing her makes me ♥crave♥ for a daughter! Her name is Julka Phoenix and her mum Zhiying is the owner/designer of Poppykins Boutique based in Singapore. Zhiying makes very adorable outfits for little girls. We crossed path when I was seeking for beautiful child models and she was looking to promote her little business.

This is the last BT issue single-handedly managed by me and it’s probably the one that took the most effort. It’s the Christmas issue and I just wanted it to be a little special for our readers with additional 16 pages and a 25-day Christmas giveaway where I gathered baby shops/retailers to sponsor exciting prizes and came out with the giveaway mechanics to drive readership and Facebook fans. From my observation, the campaign sure did served its goals well.

Please excuse the ‘sour’ remarks I’m going to share next, as probably only people who have undergone a similar unfair situation would understand my feelings. Thinking that it’s only right to come and go in dignity, I wrote a one-liner farewell message in the Editor’s Note for this issue to inform my readers about the resignation. There was nothing negative or tarnishing about the sentence. It was then discreetly deleted by that ‘someone’ – also known as ‘siao ren 小人’ before it went to print. When confronted, that 小人 said he will get the new editor to announce on my behalf in the January issue, and that I can contribute a small message in it as well. Of course, that didn’t happen as well and as usual, became just another of his empty promises. Was I digusted by his action? VERY MUCH so but it further justified my decision to leave. I concluded that it’s only something insecure people lacking integrity and honesty will do; I can do my best but what other people do is beyond my control. Anyways…

The issue also includes an article written by MieVee from Mummy’s Reviews, touching Christmas tales as well as a real-life story by a very modern and open-minded mum who defied the norm and got pregnant before getting married. Many women out there went through the same thing but how many actually dare to admit and share it publicly? Courageous people like these inspire me to continue writing. There is also a travel review on our recent Perth trip, featuring the farmstay and some tips on holidaying there.

Moving forward, besides some parts in the January 2012 issue and two of the real-life stories in February, that pretty much sums up my journey with this publication as I continue to focus on my current job and spend my leisure time with family instead. Now, I’m only praying hard that the payment for these jobs will be honoured accordingly. Trying to stay positive here

Family
♥ The highlight of the month is…my eldest sister is pregnant! I have yet to be given the permission to be overly excited for her as she comes to term with the unplanned blessing. She doesn’t visit my blog, so it’s the only avenue I can announce my happiness for now (I had to delete the announcement posted in my Facebook status!).
♥ Our own baby-making plans are put on hold for now as we both agreed that it’s better to space out our children’s ages and spend more time nurturing Ewan to be more physically and emotionally independent before gifting him a sibling. My niece or nephew is due in July and frankly, I CAN’T wait!!
♥ Hubby’s cousin got married and his uncle, aunt and cousins from Canada came visiting for two weeks. We flew to Langkawi after the wedding and spent a few days there. The trip itself could have been a lot better; we came home concluding that there won’t be any more Langkawi trips in the near future. Apart from that, Ewan had a whale of a time with his grandaunt and grandpa.
♥ We also busied ourselves playing tour guide to them, bringing them shopping and dining around, although it would be even better if I could accompany them more, no thanks to the draggy flu I had after the vacation.
♥ While I attended a whole-day seminar and worked on one of the public holidays, Hubby took over and cared for Ewan. The duo had lots of fun together, and I’m delighted to announce that I have never been more proud of him as a father to our child. While I was away, the two of them went to the kids gym, dined out, went for a swim and did some window shopping together.

Work
♥ I have settled down a lot at work, having been assigned many tasks from week one. It’s good because time passes a lot faster and easier when you’re occupied. So far, things are looking great and my colleagues are lovely and helpful. I admire my boss’ positive and cheerful attitude. One day, if I ever get to where she is now, I want to be like her. She’s as understanding and caring as a boss can be, happily granting me time-off to attend Shichida with Ewan every fortnight, taking turns with Hubby. Ewan will be going for a weekend class starting next term.
♥ After a long contemplation weighing between the wrongfulness of a situation and the relationships involved, I have decided to take an unfrequented path, filed a complaint and stood up for myself. I neither intended to get anyone into trouble nor seek for justice, but rather to retrieve the empowerment I have lost during the situation. Getting a reply from the authority was enough to give me a closure and move on.

Me
♥ I recently attended a very beneficial seminar called Spiritual Parenting by Dr Aaron Tan. It was very enlightening and imparted parenting values in a whole new perspective that would never crossed my mind ever. I will share more about this in another post.
♥ I have also been more quiet in Facebook and non-existent in Twitter, mainly because I have begun to feel how time-consuming and distracting they are. Over the months, I have come to prefer the simpler life.

So that’s about how I spent my mid November to mid December. Until then…

Great, so how do we handle this now? Impulsively, I wanted to tell the parents “Haiyaaa…what doesn’t harm him makes him grow stronger. It’s part of growing up! My son got bitten before too…so what, am I supposed to hunt down each and every of the child’s parents?” I didn’t do that of course because my EQ is apparently higher

Coincidentally, there will be a parents-mentors gathering this Saturday and A’s parents have ‘warned’ the daycare operator that they “will talk to Ewan’s parents”…probably for our so-called bad parenting skills?

Do you still remember the post where I wrote about how E got bitten at daycare – not once, not twice but countless times? Well, he used to be the victim and come home with bite marks on his arms, neck, face, legs and back every two days or so. It seems that he has now acquired the art of survival and becomes the biter. No no no, I’m not condoning this habit but merely feels that it’s part and parcel of a toddler’s progression. I can understand A’s parents’ feelings but the thing is, when it happened to E last time, we never knew who the biters were! It is the daycare’s policy to inform respective parents on daily happenings but they do not reveal or pinpoint the little attacker(s) to protect them. The thing with A is, he’s almost 2.5 years and can communicate very well with his parents. So when his mum picked him up on the day E bit him, he pointed to his arm and said, “Mummy…Ewan bite!”. OMG…

So to set things right, we concluded that:
1. They are just merely reacting like any parents would – we felt the same way last time too.
2. Ewan’s biting habit does NOT equal to our bad parenting skills. Frankly, he does bite me (only me) at home but only when he gets overexcited or ‘geram’ while playing. Other than that, he has a pleasant and easy personality – rarely rebellious or aggresive.
3. Every toddler protects their turf in their own way. Some pull hair, some push, some scratch while some bite. Our boy bites in self-defense. According to his caregiver, A unintentionally disturbed E while playing and that was how the biting got triggered. I have also heard that although A doesn’t bite, he scratches and pulls hair. So really, it’s part of a toddler’s social development and emotions control. They are still too inexperienced to understand and still learning the proper ways to channel their anger and frustration.

Back to the solution, to maintain peace and prevent an awkward situation this Saturday, we sent an apology SMS to A’s mum. While she didn’t directly say that “It’s OK, no worries”, she was appreciative of our gesture. Thank goodness *relief*

Gosh, I hope we don’t get labelled as the “parents with a son that bites” this Saturday…now, where’s my make-up powder? Need to thicken up my skin!

At 20 months, Ewan…

♥ Feed himself. This is a huge blessing as it allows us to enjoy mealtimes simultaneously together. We usually wrap a cloth napkin around him (like as if he’s getting a haircut) and let him eat away while Odee waits below for any fallen treats. He can drink from a cup on his own too, although the water eventually turns murky from his dipping fingers into the cup.
♥ My oh my, I never thought I would ever get to say this but these days, Ewan asks for milk and drinks 4oz to 8oz of oatmilk three to four times daily. He also says “no” or laughs whenever I try to offer him ‘nen nen’. He was officially off the breasts at 18 months old.
♥ Still fancies anything animals. Whenever he fusses, the ‘Old MacDonald’ or the improvised ‘The (Animal) On The Bus’ song still works like magic.
♥ He’s shy with new environments, strangers and even family members he doesn’t see regularly but warms up pretty quickly after 15-20 minutes. He reminds me of the younger, timid me.
♥ He can be quite a scaredy cat with loud noises like helicopter flying past our residential area or unknown object on TV (ie. red reindeer hand puppet), screaming as he runs towards us.

♥ He still doesn’t like furry stuff like soft toys or my brother’s Pekingese puppy. The only furry thing he’s fine with is his four-legged brother at home.
♥ He can speak a large number of one-syllable words. My favourite is being demanded to “sit” and then, “read” whenever he wants us to read him a book.
♥ I’m known as ‘Ber Ber’ for many months until recently, he alternates between this and ‘Mi’.
♥ Potty training wise, he lets us know whenever he poops but nothing before that yet. We are still in the midst of coaxing him to sit on the toilet bowl.
♥ He also enjoys water play at any time of the day. He recently graduated from using his baby float to arm float. And he loves it when we dunk him underwater for several seconds. He can also pour water accurately from one cup to another.

♥ He loves dancing, singing and nursery rhymes. He can complete the last word of each sentence in ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’, ‘Hey Diddle Diddle’, ‘One Two Buckle My Shoe’ and ‘Johnny Johnny’.
♥ He loves nothing more than books! And this is an area we don’t mind splurging on. If we were to give him an option of bicycle riding or reading, he would choose the latter. A bookworm in the making?
♥ He melts my parents’ and father-in-law’s hearts when he calls up to them “Kong Kong”, “Ah Kong” and “Ah Ma” affectionally.
♥ I’m thankful that he’s not fussy and eats practically everything we give. Keeping our fingers crossed.
♥ He knows how to stack up Megabloks and enjoys mixing and matching various colours.
♥ He’s a little of a perfectionist like me, keeping away his toys whenever we ask and at times, on his own accord. There were times when we caught him putting back the items to their original positions after playing. I tell ya, my heart ballooned up!
♥ He’s turning into this sweet, little man who reaches out for my hand and holds it tightly while watching TV in the car. It makes me feel like being wooed and falling in love all over again everytime he does that.

♥ I have no idea where he learns this but his understanding of running means stretching both his arms to the back while quickening his steps. His star jumps with feet barely leaving the ground are so adorable to watch.
♥ He has been attending Shichida for three terms now and I must say that he has improved tremendously in his linking memory and ESP skills. He still likes the finger play, Japanese phonics song and abacus sessions the best.
♥ Character wise, he’s a cooperative and rather easy to manage toddler, with occasional outbursts now and then regularly triggered by teething and/or impending flu. Other than that, he has a pleasant personality and listens to us most of the time. He’s empathetic too, apologizing quickly with a pat on the head followed by a kiss and a hug whenever he hurts us.
♥ His eczema flare-ups rarely happen now, with the introduction of probiotics to his daily diet.

He’s full of tricks too. Our regular routine is to let him have a bottle of 4oz milk before sleep time and he knows I will call for his daddy from upstairs for more milk if he asks for a second helping. So the other night, he tricked me into believing that he wanted more and so Daddy diligently came up with more milk. Instead of drinking it, he commanded his Daddy to “sleep” while pointing at the bed. The things kids do to get attention…