Stay Home or Stay Put?

After months of contemplating, weighing the possibilities and scouting for a good babysitter, we have finally put one of our biggest worries to rest. Thanks to a recommendation from a former schoolmate-turned-neighbour, we found and secured a daycare nanny to care for Bub while we are at work. Thankfully, the nanny’s place is just 10 minutes away from our house and during the meet-up yesterday, the children seemed attached to her. The environment is conducive and she’s experienced in babycare too, which are all good signs.

It was one of the toughest decisions I have ever made, whether to quit my full-time job and become a stay-home mom for a couple of years or to continue supporting my hubby financially. At first, the worry was, “My Dad worked so freaking hard under the hot scorching sun everyday to support my studies overseas and all I did was work for 7 years and stay home for good?” I couldn’t accept myself as that kind of daughter initially until a senior acquaintance advised, “Your parents gave you a good start in life and because of that, you have a capable husband. Staying home will not make them any less proud of you.”

I was all ready to give up the corporate world then but after much discussion with hubby and considering the aspects involving our little family, we have decided that it’s best for me to stay put and continue working.

We were saying, even if I were to stay home, I would still like to keep my brain occupied and continue learning. I neither have an entrepreneurial passion nor the interest to set up a business but I don’t mind taking up freelance copywriting and PR jobs. However, that means a fluctuating, unstable income which wouldn’t be helpful to sustain our current, basic commitments. My ideal scenario is to stay home, see Bub growing up everyday, capturing each of his milestones and at the same time, take up my Masters degree. Unfortunately, we do not have the luxury of such a life now (unless my Dad is feeling generous and wants to sponsor me again. Dad? I hope you’re reading this, hehehe!).

I guess hubby knew me inside out – that I will not do well staying home all the time, probably slowly tranforming into a monster that picks a fight with him now and then out of frustration and boredom. That was what I did that when I worked from home for 3 months in 2006. And I know myself too – short span of attention, always seeking new challenges and easily restless. Besides, my current work environment is encouraging, allowing me to leave work punctually most of the time. Fortunately my boss, a mother herself, is an understanding and flexible superior too.

I really hope that with this decision, Bub will grow up to be well, healthy and happy. Mommy promise you that I will not, in any circumstances, neglect your well-being or happiness in days to come. That your interest comes first before anything else. THAT’S OUR PROMISE TO YOU.

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4 thoughts on “Stay Home or Stay Put?

  1. I raise my hands and legs in agreement that you should continue working (though I still think that staying home and looking after your baby is a great idea).

    You know, we’re all pretty similar inside out — we need to be around people, we need to communicate, we need to see friends and go for a movie sometime, for a drink sometime and just for some us-girls-time.

    Maybe it’s because I’m too used to the loneliness in KT that I sometimes feel depressed. And it is the bouts of depression that made me realize that I am a “people-person”. And I have a feeling you are like me too 🙂

    So yeah, keep working, keep learning, keep meeting new people, keep experiencing new stuff. And who knows, you will learn to be a better parent! 🙂 <– I know, this is sooo "Desperate Housewives" hahhaha..

    1. joeyllhow

      Thanks for your support, Pelf. You know me the best! (Or are you afraid that I’ll start bugging you if I stay home and have nothing to do? Hehehe!) As much as I don’t want to miss out on his growing up days and milestones, I feel that a happy me translates to a happy mommy and happy Bub too.

      1. No, I’m not afraid of you. I’m only afraid of crying babies, heehee.. Perhaps it would be a bit easier to make a decision when the time comes 🙂

  2. I am in my week 15 and I have not decided about the babysitter, midwife, natural or elective-C, which hospital to go to, to attend/not to attend prenatal classes, should be buy the buby stuffs etc etc…. sigh…

    I am more concern with my nausea/gastric/heartburn problems and my food… 😛

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