When I was about to give up during my first month staying home as a full-time mom, Jac said, “Give it 3 months and decide from there.” I’m glad to have listened.
Those who read my previous entries on becoming a stay-home mom would know that it was a rocky start for me. I resented my situation, craved for the outside world and most of all, missed interacting with people and bringing home a salary. My ex-company offered me a part-time position initially and as tempted as I was to accept it, we couldn’t find a reliable caregiver for Ewan. There were babysitters around but I concluded that none out there will ever be good enough for my son and hence, we decided to stay put for a while until we find the next best option for him.
It has been more than three months since I left my job. I’ve learned so much about Ewan; we have grown so much together. Throughout this duration, we have laughed, squealed, sang, screamed and hugged each other to sleep. He has taught me that a toothless grin cures all tensions, patience is virtue and never be too quick to judge. With a baby, everyday is a new adventure – they are probably the most unpredictable little people around. He has taught me to be on my toes, to be creative and to remain calm and always have a plan B. That taking one day at a time and not planning too much ahead make things easier and clearer. And that babies are very observant and absorb knowledge like a sponge, so I have to behave my best, including withholding my frustration or anger, in front of him.
Three months on and I’m a happier, more settled mom. My self-determined week-by-week “key performance indicator” runs by a point system whereby if I lose my cool or do anything that opposes to our childrearing values, I will deduct a point accordingly. If I handle a situation well, a merit point will be given. We begin with 10 points every Monday and by Sunday, the remaining points will be reviewed and evaluated on how I can manage things differently and further improve myself. If my points improve drastically from week to week, I may reward myself with something for instance a waffle treat, a dress etc. Crazy indeed but it works well for me and gives me a focus. Want to know the lowest I’ve closed at? 4! *shame*
Visiting my colleagues weeks ago made me feel really blessed staying home and not having to deal with stress.
Three months on and I’m finally more contented staying home.