Becoming a SAHM Pt #6: Three Months On

When I was about to give up during my first month staying home as a full-time mom, Jac said, “Give it 3 months and decide from there.” I’m glad to have listened. 

Those who read my previous entries on becoming a stay-home mom would know that it was a rocky start for me. I resented my situation, craved for the outside world and most of all, missed interacting with people and bringing home a salary. My ex-company offered me a part-time position initially and as tempted as I was to accept it, we couldn’t find a reliable caregiver for Ewan. There were babysitters around but I concluded that none out there will ever be good enough for my son and hence, we decided to stay put for a while until we find the next best option for him. 

It has been more than three months since I left my job. I’ve learned so much about Ewan; we have grown so much together. Throughout this duration, we have laughed, squealed, sang, screamed and hugged each other to sleep. He has taught me that a toothless grin cures all tensions, patience is virtue and never be too quick to judge. With a baby, everyday is a new adventure – they are probably the most unpredictable little people around. He has taught me to be on my toes, to be creative and to remain calm and always have a plan B. That taking one day at a time and not planning too much ahead make things easier and clearer. And that babies are very observant and absorb knowledge like a sponge, so I have to behave my best, including withholding my frustration or anger, in front of him.

Three months on and I’m a happier, more settled mom. My self-determined week-by-week “key performance indicator” runs by a point system whereby if I lose my cool or do anything that opposes to our childrearing values, I will deduct a point accordingly. If I handle a situation well, a merit point will be given. We begin with 10 points every Monday and by Sunday, the remaining points will be reviewed and evaluated on how I can manage things differently and further improve myself. If my points improve drastically from week to week, I may reward myself with something for instance a waffle treat, a dress etc. Crazy indeed but it works well for me and gives me a focus. Want to know the lowest I’ve closed at? 4! *shame*

Visiting my colleagues weeks ago made me feel really blessed staying home and not having to deal with stress.

Three months on and I’m finally more contented staying home. 


8 thoughts on “Becoming a SAHM Pt #6: Three Months On

  1. mikichua

    Congratulations… i think i should practice your KPI.. muahhaha.. i’ll be at 0 all the time.. now days keep losing patience.. 😦

  2. I like your point system too! 🙂
    Almost 2 years as SAHM now, dealing with toddler is challenging indeed. I lost my cool often for a while and manage my expectations better now. Being creative, patient and respectful to the child definitely work better than threats and voice-raising. Being a SAHM certainly taught me a lot.

    Enjoy your role at home. 🙂

    1. joeyllhow

      I lost it again this morning. The thing is, babies/children are so erratic. We never know when they decide to skip the nap or feed. Forcing definitely doesn’t work. I’m still working on my patience, don’t want E to grow up thinking shouting gets his message across *guilty*

  3. mellomouse

    3 months credit must go to Ben. He’s the one who always ask me to give it 3mths. Just like how we need 3mths for probation at a new job. Whatever we do, it’s the same concept. Guilty, I often give up before 3 months. I am very proud that you didn’t!! *hugs* Now don’t go leaving me 😛

    The KPI is good idea. Do you get a raise from Hunny? *hint hint to Mr Chua*

    1. joeyllhow

      Hello! Thanks for the comment. One thing to bear in mind is, the first month is going to be challenging and at times, depressing. You’ll keep asking why such decision has been made but give it 3 months to judge whether you should stay home or go back to work. Hope what I’ve shared in my blog helps you in making a decision 🙂

  4. May Yee

    I love to be a stay home mom! It is a privilage and luxury…. bb grow up so fast!!
    You have be holding on tight…. doing well and good. You’ll be ok, mommy! 😀

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