Guess I spoke too soon about my son’s pleasant personality; he got complained at daycare two days ago for biting this particular boy (let’s call him A) – TWICE. A’s parents are very upset with Ewan’s parents, which happens to be…us!
Great, so how do we handle this now? Impulsively, I wanted to tell the parents “Haiyaaa…what doesn’t harm him makes him grow stronger. It’s part of growing up! My son got bitten before too…so what, am I supposed to hunt down each and every of the child’s parents?” I didn’t do that of course because my EQ is apparently higher 🙂
Coincidentally, there will be a parents-mentors gathering this Saturday and A’s parents have ‘warned’ the daycare operator that they “will talk to Ewan’s parents”…probably for our so-called bad parenting skills?
Do you still remember the post where I wrote about how E got bitten at daycare – not once, not twice but countless times? Well, he used to be the victim and come home with bite marks on his arms, neck, face, legs and back every two days or so. It seems that he has now acquired the art of survival and becomes the biter. No no no, I’m not condoning this habit but merely feels that it’s part and parcel of a toddler’s progression. I can understand A’s parents’ feelings but the thing is, when it happened to E last time, we never knew who the biters were! It is the daycare’s policy to inform respective parents on daily happenings but they do not reveal or pinpoint the little attacker(s) to protect them. The thing with A is, he’s almost 2.5 years and can communicate very well with his parents. So when his mum picked him up on the day E bit him, he pointed to his arm and said, “Mummy…Ewan bite!”. OMG…
So to set things right, we concluded that:
1. They are just merely reacting like any parents would – we felt the same way last time too.
2. Ewan’s biting habit does NOT equal to our bad parenting skills. Frankly, he does bite me (only me) at home but only when he gets overexcited or ‘geram’ while playing. Other than that, he has a pleasant and easy personality – rarely rebellious or aggresive.
3. Every toddler protects their turf in their own way. Some pull hair, some push, some scratch while some bite. Our boy bites in self-defense. According to his caregiver, A unintentionally disturbed E while playing and that was how the biting got triggered. I have also heard that although A doesn’t bite, he scratches and pulls hair. So really, it’s part of a toddler’s social development and emotions control. They are still too inexperienced to understand and still learning the proper ways to channel their anger and frustration.
Back to the solution, to maintain peace and prevent an awkward situation this Saturday, we sent an apology SMS to A’s mum. While she didn’t directly say that “It’s OK, no worries”, she was appreciative of our gesture. Thank goodness *relief*
Gosh, I hope we don’t get labelled as the “parents with a son that bites” this Saturday…now, where’s my make-up powder? Need to thicken up my skin!