Do you have false or true friends?

You know how it’s like whenever you come across a book that’s so enlightening it improves the way you think and declutter some of the questions you have always seek to answer? If you’re a fan of books, you’ll get what I mean.

I came across this really great book during the Chinese New Year break and would like to share an excerpt from one of the chapters. A conversation with my group of besties and a recent incident made me realise that at the tender age of almost 31, I have had the blessing of knowing both false and true friends. Good or bad, I’m grateful for these people and the experiences they have given me for without them, I wouldn’t know the difference between sincere and malicious. For without them, I wouldn’t be who I am today.

After reading the chapter several times, I’m proud to say that I have been more of a true friend than a false one over the years. To err is human; there’s no doubt that I have wronged some people in the past – I’m truly sorry, please forgive me – or chosen to walk away from pretentious and emotionally draining friendships (which I’m totally not sorry for. Find out why at Nothing more for you on AKDAD).

I hope this article will put you into a clearer perspective, like how it has helped me. If you have been someone’s true friend all the while, keep it up! And if you have been one of those false ones, chin up too…it’s NEVER too late to make amends.

Here goes:

Extracted from A Life of Blessings by TY Lee

😦 False Friends 😦

Those who take
They take whatever they can get
They give little but ask for much
They do what is required only out of obligation
They are friends for their own advantage

Those who pay lip-service
They claim to have been good friends in the past
They promise to be good friends in the future
They try to gain favour with kind but empty words
When called upon, they say they are unable to help

Those who flatter
They approve of wrong-doing
They approve or disapprove of doing right, whichever will benefit them
They speak well of you in your presence
They speak ill of you to others when you are not around

Those who bring ruin
They are companions for indulging in drinking
They are companions for being out late at night for no good reason
They are companions for excessively frequenting places of entertainment
They are companions for indulging in gambling

In summary:
The friends who take
The friends who pay lip-service
The friends who flatter
The friends who brings ruin.

The wise will know that these four
Are not friends but are enemies;
And should be avoided
As one avoids a dangerous path.

🙂 True Friends 🙂

Those who are helpmates
They protect you when you are vulnerable
They protect your possessions when you are vulnerable
They are there when you are troubled
They provide generously when there is a need

Those who remain the same in good times and in bad
They trust you with their secrets
They can be trusted with your secrets
They do not abandon you in times of trouble
They may even give their life for you

Those who give good counsel
They restrain you from doing wrong
They encourage you to do what is right
They keep you informed of what you should know
They show the right way and are companions for spiritual practice

Those who are compassionate
They sympathize in your misfortune
They rejoice in your good fortune
They restrain others from speaking ill of you
They commend those who speak well of you

In summary:
The friends who help
The friends who stay in good times and in bad
The friends who give good counsel
The friends who are compassionate.

The wise will know that these four
Are truly friends;
And treasure them
As a mother does her own child.

To download a copy of the book, visit Just Be Good (scroll all the way down to ‘E-books’

P/S: The cover of the book may mislead you into believing that it’s all about religion preaching (for instance: our God is the greatest; if you don’t believe in our God, you won’t go to Heaven etc). But really, as a rather non-religious, I-don’t-care-whatever-religion-I’m-in kind of person since young, I must admit that the teachings of Buddha is very neutral, non-biased and very practical for everyday life.


4 thoughts on “Do you have false or true friends?

  1. serendipity hopeful

    Having sincere friends is a real blessing. If one doesn’t have a few people who they can call true friends then one is poorer for it.

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