That’s what I would have said if you have suggested the idea of a third child to me, two years ago. Not because I don’t like or enjoy children. Not also because I know I’m not the perfect, Zen-like mum so I’d better conserve the patience for my existing children. It’s just that I’ve always thought we are so done with two. Because every time I imagined pitter patter of three pairs of feet in my house, this came into my mind:
Or so we thought.
The family dynamics is thriving, the children are happy, I am almost ‘free’ again with even my youngest off to school now…what’s not to like? Apa lagi gua mau? Nothing. I’m contented.
Then the calling struck. I began thinking about having another baby. The oohs and ahhs over strangers’ newborns. That “Why did they grow so fast?!” and “How come they’re no longer baby-cute?” What was I thinking?!
Even the Husband, who was always more done than I was, started toying with the idea of adding another little person into our family. Something about the family feels pending and waiting to be completed.
It took me almost a year to ponder on this subject. I asked friends with more than one sibling about how they felt growing up in a bigger family. I asked mums with more than two kids – what are their experiences and how did they cope mentally and financially? I also spoke with friends with older kids; did they ever wish they have had more children instead? It wasn’t a decision we would want to jump in and have a go. Having another baby would change everything. FOREVER.
Alas, everyone’s experience is different. Each child is different. At one point, we concluded that quality is more important than quantity. But still I couldn’t shake off the idea of having a third child. Oooh the smell, the bond, the first years…
Then, the ironic part came. The more I tried to distract myself from the idea, the more my mind seemed to be attracted to the little signs. Families with 3 kids were suddenly popping up everywhere I went. Everywhere – literally! Celebrities expecting their third child. The perks and joys of being in a family of 5. I couldn’t even go near the kids’ photo album from yesteryears without feeling all emotional. When I think of the future, there are always 3 children. Don’t ask me why, I don’t know the reason either.
The Husband and I finally agreed that since the thought kept coming back, then perhaps we are meant to be parents of 3 kids. Everything happens for a reason, isn’t it? We would try for 2-3 months – enough for destiny to work its magic – and if there was going to be a third child, there will be a third child.