Posted on 20 August 2006:
I’ve finally come about to penning down the story of my thoughts, wonders and maybe sometimes, just nothing significant at all. I’ve always wanted to do this for a while but some lame excuses always managed to get in the way. In fact, I;m one of those people who has been faithfull reading friends’ and strangers’ blogs. It’s a great way to know one better or ‘keep in touch’ without having to meet up.
I’ve been pretty stressed up lately at work. After four months in my new company and learning so much more than anyone could ask for, I couldn’t help but to feel pressured to perform well. It was so bad that my sleep was affected and my skin shared the same stress I was going through. I had weird dreams about work almost every night – from “what does SKII stand for?” and “yeux is French for eyes” to “have I locked my office drawer?” and the famous Donald Trump’s signature phrase “you’re fired!” ringing in my mind. Suddenly my faithful bible: Dale Carnegie’s ‘How to Stop Worrying & Start Living’ resumed its position on my bedside table. I know this has to stop before I break down really badly.
This weekend has done me good. I did practically nothing at all, just stayed home alone and found out that this is one of the best ways to rediscover your inner strength. I was browsing through the obituary page in the newspaper (yes, I actually read obituaries because it reminds me that death happens to people of all age, race and gender.) There, I saw the photo of a young man who has just passed away recently with a message of his family thanking all the support and encouragement he has received in his life. A URL address of his blog was stated below. For some unknown reasons, I visited his blog that detailed his journey throughout the battle with cancer. He embraced his life with courage and amazing optimism despite the painful ordeal. And here I was, worrying about every little thing and wondering why my life is such a stress when someone wonderful out there had to leave the world at an early age but yet, had the strength to face each day with hope. I am ashamed of myself.
I’m determined to do something about my worries. For once in so many months, I am looking forward to Monday.
Posted on 29 August 2006:
RED HOT MOMENT
It happened again for the second time in a few weeks’ time. I received a missed call from Steve this afternoon and returned his call without a second thought. Little did I realized that I was calling his home and that his cousin, who has an unidentical voice with my boyfriend (at least to me), answered. I was more cautious this time around after the incident when I mistaken his voice for Steve’s. It went like this:
Cousin: Helloooo….(exactly like how Steve answers the phone)
Cousin: Yessssss? (Steve’s favourite way of saying “yesssss?” to me)
Me: *Long pause*…uhmmm Hunny?
Cousin: No, it’s Calvin.
Me: (Argh man, not again! What are you doing at home on a weekday?! Oh yeah, he’s an air steward) Errr, is Steve in?
Cousin: He went out already.
I experienced that red hot moment again – the same old feeling that made me want to hide my head under the ground like an ostrich. A few weeks back, an even more embarrassing version happened. That night, I have just arrived home from yoga, dashed straight to the phone and called Steve. It started this way:
Cousin: Hellooo….(see, they even answer the phone with the same tone! Maybe it’s a conspiration against me!)
Me: Bonjour! May I speak to Steve C.T.C. please? (I said his full name loudly)
Cousin: He’s not at home.
Me: (Yeah right! Playing along with me, huh?) Oh really? Actually, my name is Mary Elizabeth from Lancôme and my colleague, Joey, asked me to call and entertain you because she’s afraid you’ll be bored all alone.
Cousin: Huh?! Who are you?
Me: Mary Elizabeth from Lancôme J (No idea how I came up with this ‘kinky’ name)
Cousin: OK…but I don’t know you.
Me: Hunnnnnyyyyyyy! (I couldn’t play along anymore because he sounded so serious)
Cousin: He’s not at home…!
Me: Hunnnnnnyyy! Don’t play already la…
Cousin: He’s not at home. This is Calvin.
Me: *Long pause*….oh my god! Oh no no no no…are you sure you are Calvin? You sounded exactly like Steve!
Cousin: Of course, we are cousins!
Me: Oh nooooo…OK OK, just forget what I have just said to you. Just pretend I didn’t call at all.
Cousin: Do you want me to tell him that you called?
Me: (Grrr, you’re having fun, aren’t you?!) Uhmmmm it’s OK, I will call him at his mobile. Thanks, bye.
He must have rolled on the floor laughing all he could before Steve came home because according to my boyfriend, he put up a straight face and pretended nothing happened after that. One thing LUCKY though, I didn’t suggest anything naughty during that ‘play-along’ conversation. Lesson to learn? Make good use of video conferencing technology!