Posted on 7 September 2007:
BRIDEZILLA IN THE MAKING
Some people take a year to plan it, some even longer. But for me, my wedding preparations began barely six months ago. Contrary to common perception, putting up a wedding does not actually take that long. Honestly, there’s not much to do. That’s why my template answer to “How’s your preparations coming along?” is usually the monotonous “Almost there!”. Once we’ve nailed down the venue, programme and logistical details, everything just fell into place naturally. Well, that’s unless you want to have a grand, talk-of-the-town wedding. Mine’s going to be simple and meaningful in the presence of family and friends.
But what most people didn’t know about wedding planning is the turmoil and stress that’s packaged with it. Apart from having your savings account go from “oh yeahhhh…” to “oh noooo…!”, inefficient vendors and weird requests from mother, soon-to-be-marrieds out there, especially bride-to-be’s, have to endure unexpected reactions from friends too. People whom you care so much about, whom you can’t wait to share your big day with, suddenly become people you don’t even know.
It’s very hard to swallow but bride-to-be’s should learn how to shield themselves from comments like these and still maintain their glow for the big day:
“Oh no, not another saman” or “Oh come on, I’m running out of money already!” [Your presence is more important than your presents.]
“It could be a busy month at work.” [Derrr…it’s a public holiday la]
“I’m going for holidays. Sorry, last minute decision.” [But I told you 6 months ago!]
How can wedding planning not be super stressful, even when you’re not expecting any help, people are disappointing? Yes, the obviously don’t want to be there and it just saddens me that they aren’t what I perceive as all the while. Only those who have gone through it will be able to relate to my predicament. I have a friend who suffered the same fate, in fact, even worse than I could even imagined. Her best friend called her up a day before her wedding to say, “Sorry, can’t make it to your wedding. I’ve got period pain!”. Mind you, this came from a person she deemed a best friend for years. Sad but true. It’s only good to prepare ourselves for such drama. How to be optimist leh?
But then again, there are a bunch of friends who shared your happiness and said:
“I wanna come, I wanna come!”
“Will try my best to be there no matter what.”
“How can I miss it?!”
“So sorry I can’t make it. We are not allowed to take leave during Raya coz the Malay colleagues are off to balik kampung.”
To these friends, I THANK YOU for your kindness.
Ultimately, what’s most important is I’m marrying my CHOSEN one, surrounded by family members (who stand by me regardlessly) and friends (who are really happy for me). . After all, it’s YOUR day and not theirs.
To those who are reading this, do try to be more understanding to your soon-to-be-married friends. Make their life easier; you’ll get married one day too. Even if you have to say ‘no’, do it sincerely and apologetically, because there’s a real reason why they excitedly want you to be there – you’re a friend to them!
Life is always inadequate unless you’re grateful for what you already have.
Posted on 21 September 2007:
On September 15, I gave up hot dates for good, bid farewell to my bachelorhood and signed a life promise, all just to begin an even more exciting stage of my life with the man of my dreams. Steve was handsomely dressed on that day, in his purple shirt, adorned with purple tie, thanks to his clever wife. He almost looked like Barney, if not for his spectacles and bushy dark hair. Both of our parents, especially Steve’s, were so excited for us they appeared to be the ones getting registered instead.
Our registration of marriage was simple and private in the presence of parents and some of their close friends. We were given the exclusive opportunity to be the only couple who got registered on that day in the temple. Dad and father in-law were our witnesses. I later found out from Mom that Dad felt very sad to ‘sign away’ her little daughter. How sweet of him!
Despite the language barrier encountered like chicken and duck, both our parents managed to interact well. After signing the papers and proclaimed husband and wife for real, we proceeded to Dad’s favourite dim sum shop in Bachang. The rest of the afternoon was spent shopping with Mom for my guo da li stuff and wedding favours for guests. As a wedding gift for me, Mom got me my first expensive watch (or at least to me): a Tissot T-Wave. This baby is a total beauty! My old watch, which is still working now, was a Guess? given by Mom years ago when I was still in Form 5.
In the evening, we gathered at Renaissance Hotel for food tasting together with Steve’s cousins. And then, we spent our first day of marriage sleeping apart – he went back to his family’s place and I went back to mine. So much for the ‘first night’, hehehe!
I’m finally someone’s wife. No more putting a tick in ‘Single’ category anymore when filling in forms. No more three dates in a Saturday. No more speed dating. No more having to hide Steve’s toothbrush/other evidences of sleepover when my parents visit my place. And I know that there’s more to good stuff in marriage. For instance, permanent outlet to complain, a loyal best friend to hang out with, continuous supply of hugs and kisses and of course, legalised s** anytime, anywhere, anyhow! (OK, you didn’t read that!). And I like that idea!
Ladies and gentlemen, I’m now Mrs Stephen Chua (you can still call me Ms How).